At last, the first arc of the third season is over. It means that we’ve lost my favorite of the new characters that were added for the third season but at least this is the last week that I’ll have to write about the high incidence of rape in Neptune, CA. Just seven episodes left. One week to the movie!

S03E07 “Of Vice and Men”

Keith and Veronica aren’t on the same page. That’s almost always bad news. Veronica may be an adult but she’s still only 19. She needs her father and her father needs her. Veronica does need to at least lower the pedestal she has him on if she can’t remove him. He shouldn’t have slept with a married woman but she can’t write him off just because he’s not the ideal person that she (and we) think that he is. This makes the affair doubly difficult for Keith. Somewhere in his subconscious, he was probably on a high horse when it came to cheating. Lianne most likely cheated on him with Jake but he was faithful until she walked out on them. Now his track record is a little dirty.

Piz is the classic “nice guy”. Maybe he doesn’t realize he’s doing it but he spends a good portion of this episode preying on an obviously vulnerable girl that he knows has a boyfriend. Not cool, Piz.

This was obviously supposed to be an episode where Veronica is supposed to learn something that applies to her own life. Meryl trusts Sully so maybe it’s not good how little she trusts Logan. It’s hard to tell if she takes much from it, though, because she’s drugged and has some of her hair shaved away by the end of the episode. The rapist is starting to act erratically. We’re finally nearing the end of this.

S03E08 “Lord of the Π’s”

Patty Hearst as Selma Hearst Rose in a kidnapping-related plot. Hijinks! Also, it would appear that Veronica learned nothing about trusting Logan or her father from the last episode. Of course she doesn’t want them looking over her shoulder all of the time but they love her and want her to be safe. That’s not unreasonable. At least Keith and Veronica are working together. Everything is better when they are.

Also, we get some Wallace. That’s my biggest problem with season 3. Not nearly enough Wallace. Veronica also gives us a little cross-network promotion by quoting the Carole King song that’s used as the them song to Gilmore Girls.

S03E09 “Spit & Eggs”

Logan begins the episode by showing a lot of emotional maturity and growth and ends it by showing that he can still act irrationally when provoked. Or maybe he just likes beating up on cars. Either way, neither he nor Veronica were ready for a relationship with each other. In fact, they probably could both use a break from relationships. They’ve had some traumatic formative years.

We also see why no professor would ever run the Stanford prison experiment in this day and age. This is what happens when you let Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta) teach a Sociology class.

Goodbye, Ed Begley Jr. This is the most I have ever liked you.

S03E10 “Show Me the Monkey”

A Mac storyline! Oh how I have missed Mac. Not as much as I missed Wallace but I’m still very happy to see her. Also, Parker is probably my second favorite new character from season 3 so I’m also happy to see her. She’s had my heart ever since she said “That’s two-thirds of a turkey, bitches!”

I support animal rights but I’m also a scientist so this episode glosses over a nuanced topic. I’m just going to focus more on the lovely Mac and Bronson stuff.

Bronson is a lovely guy for Mac. He’s sweet and sensitive and she hasn’t dated a guy since Beaver. The guy may actually be perfect. Yay, Mac. Also, yay, Canada jokes! In lesser relationship news, Veronica and Logan are back together because they’re teenagers and learn nothing from anything.

Note from an actual scientist: Wearing lab coats to the food court defeats the purpose of lab coats. They’re supposed to keep stuff off of your clothing so that you don’t track stuff into non-lab areas. This is especially important in an area where people eat food. Hang your lab coat up when you leave the lab.

S03E11 “Poughkeepsie, Tramps, and Thieves”

Veronica, Keith, and Weevil are the Dean O’Dell Appreciation Society and I’m right along with them. He wasn’t perfect but that’s part of what make’s him so likeable.

Max learns a very expensive lesson but maybe it’s a little bit of turnaround is a fair play. He’s becoming wealthy off of a college cheating business so loosing a large chunk of that money and an even bigger chunk of his dignity may be good for him.

Veronica and Logan spend almost a whole episode being with one another and trying to trust. Logan does lie because he said he was only involved with one girl while they were broken up but he’s trying to protect her. Unfortunately, he forgot that the truth tends to come out when Veronica is around. Also, he forgot that Madison Sinclair is kind of a horrible person.

S03E12 “There’s Got to Be a Morning After Pill”

Look, writers, I get that you really liked the clever title you came up with but you already made a “There’s Got to Be a Morning After” joke earlier this season and you knew that RU-486 is not the same as the morning after pill. This title is borderline irresponsible.

The storyline is also a little irresponsible. To suggest that a not pregnant Phyllis could have been given the RU-486 at the clinic at all, much less sneak it out, is ridiculous. They most likely would have done a pregnancy test or sonogram to confirm the pregnancy. They wouldn’t just give it to someone who says she’s pregnant.

There are two very good things this episode did, though. They humanized Bonnie Capistrano, a character who they previously slut shamed. They also showed a Christian who behaves like a Christian. Bonnie’s parents did not disown her, they supported her. Showing their support through a balloon bouquet before talking to Bonnie about how she felt about her pregnancy may have been a insensitive but they truly are well-meaning people who appear to practice what they preach.

And now to the main event. Veronica and Logan, please go be separate people away from one another for awhile. You are not ready for the amount of commitment and understanding that a relationship between the two of you requires. Veronica, I get that Madison is a particular problem for you but you’ve put up with Logan living with Dick. Sure, they didn’t sleep together but Dick was the one who actually put the drugs in the drink that Madison handed to you and Dick was part of the reason why you ended up in a room with Beaver at Shelley Pomroy’s party. He’s far more complicit in your rape than Madison is but basically everyone loves Ryan Hansen and the writer’s needed a reason to break Veronica and Logan up again so why not.

S03E13 “Postgame Mortem”

Wallace! He appears to still be the most moral person in Neptune, agonizing over whether he deserves his starting position.

The coach’s case is a little bizarre and we have to wait for at least another episode to find out what happened. Since sons don’t tend to kill their fathers just because they fight over a basketball game, Josh probably didn’t kill his father.

Everything seems to be pointing at Mindy O’Dell for the dean’s murder so it’s probably not her. Basically, all characters directly identified as murder suspects in this episode probably did not commit a murder. Perhaps Landry did, though, since he and Mindy are obviously not one another’s alibis for the whole night anymore. Mindy, this would have been a very good time to tell Keith that Cyrus had shown up at your hotel room that night. You’ll look less guilty if you tell him all of the facts.

Oh, Logan. That little girl helped him a lot. Well done, precocious little girl. It sucks that your sister is so irresponsible and your entirely-too-cheerful facade breaks my heart a little but at least you got Logan to leave the hotel suite more than once and even got him to put real clothing on for one of the outings. Plus, ice cream and a hug! Best part of this episode.